Beer that felt like a brush

The distinct tickle on my nose kept me from passing out. The party was somewhat lame, the girls were slutty and all over other guys, And the beer was disgusting. I had to do something other than just sit there. "I'm getting better beer, this shit is pretty gross," i'm sure what really came out of my mouth was along the lines of "i getun betir bur........fuckin shit, grose." I was fucking retarded drunk heading to the store in my shitty beat up chevette. I was driving pretty fine until i noticed i was still in park. I took off into the night wondering what i was doing most of the time, Passing up liqour store and liqour store until i remembered my task. There was a small family owned store just half a mile ahead. I could see the bright lights from the window shining into the street. Aside form being a drunk spot it was also a gun store and sex shop. I stumbled inside with little ease. I had never been inside this establishment before, The lights and variety of alcohol, dildos and firearms amazed me. I discovered a beer i'd never seen before, a beautiful can Embellished with beautiful and ornate decorations. I had to drink this beer. I was pretty sober after getting to my car half an hour later, steadily walking with the shining emblem of barley and hops in my hand. The ride home was safe and smooth. I got back to the party and noticed seven people had left and taken the moose piss they called beer with them. I was glad, It was now time to enjoy this beverage of kings. A splash of energy blew about my mouth, A clean sensation as if it were Listerine or Scope. Going down, this beer felt like a fucking brush. What had i gotten myself into?